"Self-acceptance"

We already talked about how can you love yourself in the previous post. Now going ahead I would like to share how to accept your self the way you are.

Buddha said "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection".



 In this post I want to elaborate and tell you an interesting allegory I recently read.


One man was so troubled by the look of his shadow and felt so detested by his footprints and steps, that he decided to get rid of them. He decided to run away from them. He stood up on his feet and started running, But every time he laid another step on the ground, another step was created, and his shadow caught up with him without any trouble.

He decided that the shadow caught him because he didn’t run fast enough. He hasten his steps, and ran faster and faster, without stopping, until eventually he dropped down and died.

He didn’t understand that if he would just stand under the shadow of a tree, His shadow would disappear, and if he just sat quietly ,then there wont be more steps.

Most of us act a lot like this man. we try to run away from our shadows.

The shadow in this allegory is anything you don’t like about yourself, may it be your anger, grief, fear, greed or even physical attributes like your nose. When you’re alive you cast a shadow there is no other option. However the shadow isn’t real, It can't live on it’s own, it’s there because some of the sun beams that hit you are blocked and can’t pass through.

People create the confusion by creating an ideal. They are trying to reach an ideal and because of it they condemn themselves for not being the way they “should”. When you compare yourself to your someone you feel like something is missing.

To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect,  a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance.


In order to appreciate yourself it is up to you to discover what makes you unique and to further develop those talents. We have a responsibility to ourselves to do so.

You cannot sit around and wait for approval from others. Work on accepting yourself. You are the only "you" that you have. It is in your best interests to be the best you can be.

How do you love yourself?

You do so by investing in and working on your personal growth and development. You work on being the best you. You understand that you are human, but you acknowledge that you have the potential and spiritual capability to rise above whatever conditions and obstacles are put in your path.

When you love yourself you endeavor to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. You take care to look and feel your best by nurturing your body, mind and spirit.

Conversely, if you don't love yourself enough, start taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. You will not only become more self-aware, you will generate feelings of worth and accomplishment. 

Your Body

You take care of your body by eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest. There are many wonderful books available that can help you learn what types of food and exercise are good for you and your particular body type. 

Your Mind

Your mind needs nourishment and exercise too. Don't take it for granted. Stimulate it by learning about new and interesting things. Keeping your mind active helps prevent certain old age diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia. Keeping the neural connections of your mind active helps maintain memory and brain functions at optimum levels.

I can say this because I have gone through almost the same phase in my life, where I sleep for only 4 hours a day which may seem sufficient but has made my memory go weak a bit in remembering things nicely.

Your Spirit

If you take care of your mind and body but neglect your spirit, you will lack balance and feel that something is missing in your life. Taking care of your spirit rejuvenates you, and helps you deal with the daily stresses and challenges of everyday life.

 When you love yourself, you invest in your personal growth and development. You endeavor to be the best that you can be, and you strive to achieve your potential.

If you fight something you’re making it important. You’re focusing on it and it effects you. If you fight with the thoughts you have to use arguments. you’re trying to convince your mind. Just let go. When you clean your room there is no argument, You’re not saying to the room now I will clean you because you’re messy. You simply do it because it’s messy.

"Love Yourself"

It is truly said "Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it'll improve the life of all those around you..."

I have learned that self mastery and the consistent care of one's mind, body and soul are essential to finding one's highest self and living the life of one's dream.
How can you care for others if you cannot even care for yourself?
How can you do good if you don't even feel good?
I can't love you, if I can't love myself....

"It is only when you have mastered the art of loving yourself that you can truly love others. It's only when you have opened your heart that you can touch the heart of others. When you feel and centered and alive, you are in much better position to be a better person"

How much do you love yourself? I’m not talking about the kind of egotistical love based purely on pleasure and fame, but rather I’m talking about the strength of your relationship with yourself.

But I'd like to share with you some easy ways to discover and love yourself and help you plugin to your identity...

Forgive Yourself

I’ve gone through a period of my life where I was extremely hard on myself. Every little mistake I made, I quickly amplified it into something much larger than it really was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the fact that I didn’t forgive myself was preventing me from connecting with who I really was.

I know people who have carried their mistakes with them their entire life, and as result they remain unhappy at the core. I know what it’s like to make a mistake and feel like you shouldn’t be forgiven, but that kind of thinking is nonsense. There is no action not worthy of forgiveness. Forgiveness may take time, but don’t look back at your mistakes as a fatal flaw you must fix, instead choose to embrace them completely as the whole person you are.

Forgiving yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings can be difficult and does take practice, but it remains essential in loving yourself fully.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

I’m just as guilty as the next person in this area, for this is something that I too am struggling with even today. But as I’ve come to realize the more you compare yourself to others the less self worth you place on yourself.
When I became one of the most important part of my event's I used to compare my efforts and evaluation with that of other people but then I realize it's all vain.

Only when you stop comparing yourself to others can then you then begin to love yourself. I think it’s ironic how easily this article has ‘flown’ :)

Stop Seeking Approval

Seeking approval is similar to comparing yourself to others, and it’s fair to say that we all do it from time to time. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never sought approval from my family or friends, but I’m also going to tell you that when approval was my main focus those were also not the happiest times in my life.

Over the past year or so I’ve come to realize that my career path probably won’t be the most accepted by my friends and family, that is I want to be an entrepreneur of my own designer brand, a writer, a psychoanalyst, an artist and a public speaker. Yet, I’ve come to discover that when you continuously seek approval from others to validate your own self worth, you’re simply damaging yourself relationship with yourself. I’ve accepted that my line of work might not be the ‘safest’ but I’m OK with that.

Not seeking approval doesn’t mean to not care. I can say without hesitation that I genuinely care about what my family and friends think, however it’s important you stop the process of seeking. When you rely on being happy from an outside source your setting yourself up to be miserable.

Believe In Yourself

Loving and believing in yourself go hand in hand. You can’t love yourself if you don’t believe in yourself, and you can’t believe in yourself if you don’t love yourself first. To fully experience what it means to live you must have a confidence in all you do, even during the times in which you come up short.

Believing in yourself can be hard at times, especially when nothing seems to be going right, but it is during those times that you need your own love the most.The wonderful about believing in yourself is that you are the only one responsible. You don’t need a stamp of approval before you can to begin to have faith in yourself.
Trust in your judgement and know that through both the good and bad you are worthy.

Practice Silence

Some of my happiest moments have occurred when I’m simply sitting in silence by myself. While I can be a very social person at times, I also need to have my alone time. For me, this sometimes means meditation, or sometimes I’ll just go for a long walk. Practicing silence allows for you to get a glimpse of the person you really are.

I know the act of practicing silence may not qualify as love for some people,but I feel I’m most connected with myself spiritually when I’m still. While I don’t resonate fully with any one particular religion, I’ve had my most spiritual moments when I’m sitting in complete silence.

Practicing silence allows for you to turn off all that chatter and self doubt and directly experience the bliss of being alive. You owe it to yourself to be silent at least once a day.

Eat Healthy And Exercise

Part of loving yourself is allowing your body to be in its top form. An occasional indulgence in alcohol or some fast food isn’t the end of the in the world but making a habit of destroying your body is. Many don’t realize, but your relationship to your physical body and mind is very important.

Truly loving yourself means that you take care of your body and do everything you can to keep it in good shape, both physically and mentally. Don’t expect to have a good relationship with yourself if you abuse the machine consistently.

A few weeks ago I realized that I wasn’t taking as much care of my body as I should be, so I committed to going to the physiotherapist 5 days a week as I have big backache trouble and I was kinda avoiding it. While it’s only been a few weeks, I’ve already noticed the benefits of going to the physiotherapist and eating healthy. Small steps make a massive difference.

Express Yourself

One of the greatest ways you can love yourself is to express your gifts, whatever they may be. Finding and honing your brilliance is a way to reveal what it is that makes you remarkable. Do you enjoy to write? Share your stories with the world. Do you like to draw? Paint until your hearts content. Do you like helping people find their purpose? Do so by connecting with as many people as you can. It doesn’t matter what your passions are, express them to the best of your ability.

Unfortunately, Some people chose not to express their talents and passions because they feel as if they might get ridiculed or made fun of.. But the reality is, failing to express yourself is failing to love yourself. Loving yourself comes down to expression.

Are you able to express your beauty within? As one of my favorite speaker Gabriel Robins once said, "My goal is to be an achiever,I don't believe in becoming the second best"

Loving Yourself

If you really want to change the world, if you really want to experience that life you’ve always desired, you must first love yourself fully, because all the advice in the world won’t matter if you don’t.

It won’t always be be easy, but your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Make each day a day in which you continue to deepen your relationship with yourself and experience the life you know you were meant to live. The world depends on you to love yourself.

I love myself. 

The more important question is, do you?

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